Has your child asked why a friend has two moms, how a baby was born through surrogacy, or what IVF means? These conversations are a great opportunity to teach kids about science, family, and kindness. Here are my tips to help guide your responses:
Keep It Simple
When kids ask about reproductive technology, they’re usually looking for a basic answer, not a science lecture. For example, if they ask about IVF, you can say, “Some people have trouble having a baby, so doctors help by putting a tiny baby seed in the mom’s belly to grow.” That’s often enough for younger children. If they ask more questions, you can add details based on their age and curiosity.
Explain Different Types of Families
Families are built in many ways, and reproductive technology has given more people the chance to become parents. Some families use IVF to conceive, while others may use a surrogate or a donor egg or sperm. If a child asks why a friend has two dads or two moms, you can say, “Families come in all shapes and sizes, and love is what makes a family.” This teaches kids to be accepting and open-minded.
Be Honest but Age-Appropriate
If your own child was conceived through IVF or another reproductive technology, you may wonder how to tell them. Many experts recommend being open about their origin story from an early age so it becomes a natural part of their identity. A simple explanation like, “We needed a little extra help to bring you into the world, and we are so happy you’re here,” reassures them that they were wanted and loved from the start.
Respect Different Beliefs
Reproductive technology can be a sensitive topic, and different families have different views on it. Teaching kids to respect others’ choices, even if they don’t fully understand them, is an important life lesson. Remind them that what matters most is that every child is loved and cared for.
Encourage Kindness and Curiosity
Children learn by asking questions, and their curiosity about reproductive technology is no different from their curiosity about how plants grow or where the sun goes at night. Encourage their natural wonder by answering calmly and honestly. If they want to know more, you can explore books or videos together to learn about how science helps families.
By keeping explanations simple, honest, and focused on love and acceptance, we can help kids understand that families are made in many beautiful ways. And that’s a lesson that will stick with them for life.
